I was in the shower this morning and I suddenly realized something that should have been obvious to me years ago. (Don't worry here....) I didn't care if I was clean or not when I got out. What a shower is to me is a morning ritual. A familiar thing that is revisited again and again, but caring and lovingly each time. The same way. From folding my clothes and placing them in the clothes basket to drying my hands after conditioning my hair, it's all a play which is acted out on my own private stage. I have found out, finally, what and why I do. I am a process-oriented person and, therefore, a process-oriented artist. Since I believe my personage to be inseparable from my creative consciousness, or subconsciousness, or whatever, it is the conception and creation which is important to me, in my life and my art.
Does anybody feel the same way here?
Think about it for a while and let me know, or let yourself know, whether you are a process-oriented artist, or an object-oriented artist. Are you an object maker? Or, are you a maker of objects? Is the thrill at the beginning or the end? I know now why I have sooooo many boxes full of STUFF. I know why I collect things, why I scavenge. It is stalking that gives me joy. The reason I have to create (and I do HAVE TO), is because I have to follow the ritual of birth. The birth of something new. Go way back. Back to the seemingly harmless idea that you want to make something. The crescendo actually begins there for me. When I wake up, I need to follow a pattern of courtship with what is to be my day. It's a dance. It's what I do. I know that today. I know that now.
Self-realization. Boring to you, because I'm talking about me. Write! Talk about you! Send me something which describes the way you feel, the way you work.
I don't know if I should be embarrassed or ashamed to say that my artwork is gathering dust. It's the PROCESS that I crave. My art, well, most of it, isn't on my walls, or even in my house. It's shut away because after I give life to something, all I can do is set it free. That's the only option for me. Sure, my pieces are important to me, and I visit them as individual expressions of myself, (I exhibit and keep close to my heart and mind's babies), but it is not the finished pieces that I find the most pleasure in. I give that away to the viewers. My joy, and it is pure joy, is finding something somewhere, whether it's an actual thing or an idea, and seeing that light click on in my head. That feeling of knowing that something is going to be made of that. THE HUNT IS ON! THE RACE BEGUN! Now I can fill my days with all the things that go along with creation. Now I can be free to be swept away in the rituals, the beginning, the middle, and ultimately, almost, almost, the end. The end I turn away from.
I will write about the end another time.
Please let me know if I strike a chord. I want to talk with someone. I want you to talk to each other. I want this to be a place where ideas are presented and explored. A place full of life. So, write! And, DO GOOD WORK!